Midterm Exams

Drew Farrell, Wellness CounselorI once heard a story of a parent so locked in on efficiency that he videoed his kids then they were washing the dinner dishes so that he could point out where they could simplify and expedite various movements and tasks so that they could be quicker and more productive. While this may seem ridiculous, it brings up a concept that applies to midterms and our students. Many of us parents live in the corporate world that is laser-focused on the bottom line. For some, it makes sense as this is a very standard way to run an effective and profitable corporation. However, it is very different from high school students and academics. When we take a broader perspective, high school is a time when we learn how to learn and develop (sometimes slowly) a growth mindset. The Rice Mission statement does not say a single word about getting “good” grades or getting into a “good” college. Rather, it states that our goal is to develop a love of learning and to help students realize their God-given potential. Sometimes we lose perspective and treat mid-term exams as if they were the definitive statement of our students’ abilities, effort, or success. They are not. Mid-term exams are just one step in the process of becoming the type of student and the type of person we are meant to be. 

Midterms can be a time of high stress and even anxiety for students as well as some parents. Midterm week can be hard for many students, especially those who are younger. One of the great things we hope your student discovers along the way is that he or she can do hard things. Think about your life. Most of the most meaningful things you have accomplished or become are meaningful because they involved hard work and overcoming challenges. We hope your students do extremely well on midterms, but if they do not… all is not lost. You can help them see this as an opportunity for growth. After 15 years at Rice, the most inspiring stories I know are stories about students who started out not doing well, and rather than seeing this as failure, they took a long look at where they needed to change. Profound purpose and meaning can be found in overcoming difficult challenges.  

What can we do as parents to help our students during midterm week? We can work to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. The chances are your student is already feeling plenty of stress (with a few notable exceptions). We can work on keeping our own stress in check so it doesn’t spill over onto our kids. We can allow our students to build their own autonomy and to take responsibility for their own learning more and more as they mature. We can help them welcome challenges for the character they build, rather than focusing on how hard and unpleasant they find the work. We should also remember that no midterm grade is ever seen on a Rice transcript. Transcripts only include grades that represent broader portions of the academic year (1st semester, 2nd semester, and the final course grade). Finally, we can help them stay reasonably focused, set realistic goals, practice self-care during trying circumstances, build autonomy, stay hopeful, and celebrate along the way. And we should all probably celebrate the work we put in more than merely the grade that shows up on the report card… even those of us who live in the results-oriented, metric-obsessed environment most of our week.

Happy midterm week to you all.
 
Drew Farrell
School Counselor/ Wellness Counselor